As a follow-up to this post, because I might have been complaining a little, here is what I have been doing about it:
I started on Sunday morning, and have done this each morning. I always wake up way too early, and stay on bed until I don't have a choice but to get up. It's good down time for me to get me in the right mindset for the day.
Anyway, I have been waking up and I asking myself,
"What makes me happy today?"
On Sunday, it was my kids. My kids do make me happy, but they are also often a trial (of patience, understanding, love, etc). But that day, I decided that they would be my happiness. And can I just tell you what a difference it made?!!!
I'm really trying to word everything very carefully, because I don't want to put the action or responsibility of being happy in the wrong place. They had no idea what I was doing, so there was nothing on their part that made me more happy that day than any other day.
It was me making a CHOICE to enjoy the happiness that they bring into my life. To recognize the happiness that comes from having four beautiful healthy children.
It was really almost stunning to me, the peace that came from this change in my attitude. I felt way more calm inside. I was way more patient. Little things like spills or fights, that usually frustrate me or get me yelling, were happy accidents. It took my pent up emotion out of the equation, and I could clearly see them as the little people they are, who are learning and growing, and trying to figure out life. I could approach them as the good mom I want to be, but often fail miserably at. And everything that happened in relation to my children, brought me a feeling of happiness. I wasn't perfect, and it wasn't a perfect day, but it was a happy day.
Other days I've picked my husband, sewing, my kids again... Today what makes me happy is the sun! It's finally warming up and totally sunny outside! I still feel super sick and would love to crawl back into bed, but I can't. So as I did the dishes this morning, every time I looked out the window and saw the blue sky, green grass, and flowers, I just let it fill me with happiness.
When Tommy pushed the garbage can over right after I finished cleaning all the old food out of the fridge, I definitely wasn't happy. And I decided that maybe I should just pick my kids everyday. But that's life.
Our walk to the mailbox was definitely a sunny part of the day. ;)
Anyway, I basically just wanted to share that, we always have a choice to make. Even in what attitude we have. And like the Rush song goes, "if you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice." It's true. I don't think I was ever deliberately choosing to be sad or miserable, overwhelmed, or even just ho-hum. But I sure wasn't choosing to be happy.
Out trials will keep coming, they will never end. They are what prove us, and make us strong. They make us who we are. But no matter how dark, or light, they are, we really can still be happy.
I love the quote by by Gordon B. Hinckley,
"Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured."
So here is my current way to stop just enduring it, and start to enjoy it!!