OK, so I totally just stole this from @kakiofhoneyhill on Instagram. I hope that's OK. š I wrote this as an IG post, but it's too long... so I'm blogging it. :) (I'm also blogging from my phone because my computer is broken. So I have no idea where the picture will actually show up. ;))
For the past few weeks I have been on a huge emotional rollercoaster. Ups and downs, energy wise, emotionally, feeling hopeful of the future then totally discouraged that progress we were making has come to a dead stop. I have thought a lot about what direction I am going, trying to figure out what doors are closing and which are opening. Basically evaluating everything I do. And everything I want. In all aspects of my life.
Today as I sat holding my sick sleeping little guy, scrolling through my phone, I read something that just got me down. By the time my hubby came home for lunch, I told him that I wanted to completely step away from this whole quilting community. Not give up quilting and my business so much, but get out and away from all the drama and the socializing.
There is so much good, but sometimes it's heart wrenching to see how little people care about others. I'm speaking very broadly here. But over the past few months there have been circumstances that have really opened my eyes to how harsh this community can also be - directly and indirectly.
I told my husband that I can't handle it anymore. It is too hard to care about people and be in the middle of it when sometimes it seems like no one cares.
He quite frankly told me, "No! You have to keep caring. Even if it is emotionally difficult at times." (Trust me he knows. He gets an earful every time something pulls at my heart strings.)
So anyway, here I am still clueless as to what my plan is. But this quote hit me so hard. It gave me hope that there are good people in the world. And that the world needs people who care.
My hubby also told me, "do it even if no one agrees with you. Stand your ground."
Almost a year ago now I shared my story of my own fabric addiction that I struggled with. I heard so many stories and comments that have completely changed my view on so many things. That have completely changed me. Something I can't turn my back on. Something I continually want to do something about... but what??? I still haven't figured that out. And so I've remained quiet as I continue to mull it over in my head.
But for now I'm grateful for all of you who make a difference in this community and in this world!!! Thank you for being true to you! And for perhaps sometimes standing alone. Know that I will always stand with you and you are never alone!!!
I know on IG sometimes I post certain content and I lose a lot of followers (which for the record I don't care about. I would almost prefer having no followers than knowing that there are potentially almost 2,000 people looking at my life. Intimidating much?! Mostly it's just interesting to see what drives people away and what attracts people.) But it's also been a factor in my decision to alter the content in my blog.
My blog has almost always just been quilting stuff. And I am sure that for some people that's all they want. Though my philosophy has always been, "it's my blog I can post whatever in the world I want", I have tried to keep it consistent.
Especially lately, I feel like I'm leaving a huge part of me out of what I share with the world, by restricting my content to just quilting. And it leaves me feeling a bit unfulfilled when it comes to blogging, something that I want to get back into.
I think after all my thoughts and experiences today, and my conversation with the Mr, I am going to start sharing more of ME. And if you want to stick around, that's awesome!!! I'd love to have you and hear what you have to say! And if you don't want any of that, well then, I'm sad to see you go, but I wish you all the best in your life journey!
It's interesting how much our emotions, experiences, interactions, desires, and everything else, drive us to either act or to not act. At least for me, I've learned that when I decide that I'm going to NOT act, it seems like all the forces of the earth combine against me and make sure that I know that I don't have much of a choice but to act.
Like my hubby today basically telling me, nope, you have to keep doing it! You don't have a choice. If I ignore him, it'll be everything else falling apart around me until I do it. ;) trust me, I know.
But well see what happens.
I hope everyone is having a wonderful day!!!
What gets you through those rough times when you want to throw your hands in the air??
