RIGHT??? That's what they say, isn't it?!
UPDATE: ****** I AM GOING!!! I have the best Husband and best Dad ever!!! With a little figuring out, I AM GOING!!! WAHOO!! SO GRATEFUL! I was going to delete this post, but I will leave it. Maybe all of us who are making sacrifices to be there can get together at the Summit and do a huge group cheer for how excited we all are to be there!! :) lol. *****
So here I am wracking my brain trying to figure out a way. A way for what, you ask? A way to go to the Sewing Summit! Man oh man do I want to go. ... let me explain. I have a ticket. I bought it when I lived in Utah. Exactly 34 min away from Little America (ok, I don't know if it's exactly that, it might be 35 min, maybe 40, maybe only 30. NOT the point.) Sweet. I was ready and set to go.... then we moved to North East Iowa. Iowa is about 20 HOURS away from Little America. No way am I going to drive that. Plane ticket?! Yes please. Except no.
Neil got an AWESOME job here! It is just right for him, he's doing an amazing job, I'm SO proud of him. I'm SO happy he finally has a job that will push him, that will use his talents and abilities and put them to good use, a job that will pay him more of what he's worth, and give him the position to excel in his career. It's awesome. In a few months I'm sure we'll have everything we need, we'll be comfortable and be living the dream. I don't know... there's always something right?! Anyway, that is not right now. Is moving always a drain on the finances? or is it just us? The upfront expenses, added appliances we need, extra furniture, etc. isn't making the room we need to get me a plane ticket to fly back to Salt Lake.
So what?! I'm just going to put it out there that I feel super vulnerable typing this. But I just feel like maybe it will help me either, figure out a way, or to let go. I know there have been a lot of people who bought a ticket to the Sewing Summit and aren't able to go now. That stinks. I know a lot of people have been super excited to get a ticket and now get to go when they thought they weren't going to. I should, and keep telling myself to suck it up and just sell the ticket already. but I.just.can't. man. here comes the water works.
So it's basically like this. I have some amazing, wonderful friends. I love them dearly, but none of them sew or quilt to the level that I like to and do. Or perhaps I don't know it (then they're in trouble!) ;) Anyway, It's kind of a huge part of my life. I used to go out and do a lot of things, but I've kind of given that all up to raise my 3 sweet babies. For 4+ years I've been home going happily crazy. (and sometimes not so happily, but I'm still happy to do it.) So my outlet is sewing, quilting, crafting, blogging, flickr, etc. This has become what I do and to an extent who I am. Can I tell you it's been a lonely road. YOU have made it all worth it! I can't believe the number of amazing friends I've met online! Whether through blogging, Flickr swaps, whatever. YOU are awesome! And YOU make me want to keep going. YOU have definitely become my friends! But the truth is, I still wish at times that I had someone to sew with right here, or anywhere, but to actually be doing it together. Do you know what I mean?
I sometimes get the idea that I should just stop. Stop blogging, stop sewing, stop all of this. I should be focusing more on my family, keep a cleaner house, actually fold and put away the laundry. lol. But then there is always something awesome that happens that pulls me back into it. Whether I actually sell a pattern, or my free pattern is at the top of the Craftsy list, again (-the other day - so excited!) or I get a super fun email, an invite to participate in an awesome event or blog hop, something happens that I can't tell you yet but definitely knocked me out of my chair, or someone says something super sweet (like Karen. Do you know Karen of Sew Well Maide? She is the sweetest person ever!! not bragging: look what she wrote about me. did not deserve that. Thank you!) Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I feel like every time I doubt my contributions and place in this virtual world, I always seem to get a sweet reminder that this is where I should be.
Enter Sewing Summit. I can still remember last year, hearing about everyone's great adventures at the Sewing Summit. I was so jealous. ;) I was so close and totally wanted to be there, but I wasn't. That's cool. I didn't know anyone anyway. Now comes this year. Tickets sell out in 9 HOURS. And I got one! Awesome! People that I know that are going, like 100! or more! People that I want to meet so bad so we can turn our virtual friendships into the real thing - SO many! Besties, BFF's, Best buddies, Close friends, REAL LIFE FRIENDS. whatever. SO pumped! Me sitting here in my *lonely* life is actually going to have some real-life, flesh and bone friends that ALSO like to do the same things I like to do. (I guess if my hubby liked to quilt and sew with me this might be different, but he.does.not. lol.) Anyway, that is super awesome and I'm so excited. It's like the sweet relief and the life saving time-out-for-me get-away-weekend-that-I've-been-waiting-4+-years-for. And now I can't go. All because of $400. balling my eyes out.
I keep telling myself, "get over it Di. You need a dryer and a lawn mower so your neighbors can stop looking at all your weeds and your wet underwear." teehee. I don't think of myself as a selfish person. I don't feel like I've done very many "this is for me only" things. There have been a few days where I've kicked everyone out so I could have a few hours of uninterrupted sewing. But that's about it. I can just see all the judgements coming, and all the "you need to put your family first" comments. But I don't care. If I could have one thing for me. this would be it. One weekend of fun. One weekend to be a person again and step out of the mom mold. One weekend of amazing friends and amazing people and learning and growing and whatever. man this sucks. and boy am I going to be embarrassed when I know people actually read this. ;)
When there's a will there's a way... If you are waiting to snatch up my ticket, well, you are going to have to keep waiting. because I'm not giving up yet. lol. I already gave up my hotel room, but I have family in the area, so I should be fine that way. I think about calling up my dad, but can I really say this, "Hey Dad. We have a huge long list of things we need, but can you buy me a plane ticket so I can go play with my friends for a weekend?" lol. I don't think so. I don't know what I'm going to do... but when I think of it, I'm going to do it.
And if not. If I have to sell my ticket. well then so be it. You better take notes in your classes and share with me what you learned, and tell me all about how awesome it was - even though I'll be crying through all of it. :) And if you have any advice on how to let it go, I'm open for suggestions. And maybe I'm just prego and that is why I'm so emotional about it. lol. For the record: I am NOT prego.
ok, that's all. I just had to put this out there. To help me get all these emotions out. To open some doors to finding a solution. I don't know. But I'm sure something will come of it, whatever that something is. :)
A HUGE THANK YOU to all of you! If you weren't so awesome, and if I didn't truly consider you my good friends, I know this wouldn't be this hard, so that says a lot about all of you, whether you read this or not. :) Thanks for being awesome! :)